The Merge or Why Can't Commuters Count to 2

Well, its the short commute for me today. Sit up, stretch, scratch Pepper, waddle into some clothes and down the stairs around the corner into my office chair and stuff my feet into my fuzzy slippers (thanks Emma!). Negotiating the stairs is particularly tricky.

To merge or not to merge - that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler to count to 2 or pursue naught but the loneliest number.

People just can't seem to manage this most basic of tasks. Its as simple as counting to 2, not repeating it, but each driver only needs to count to 2 at each merge. Allow me to illustrate,

Merger (at the start of the merge):
1 - Look for opening between cars.
2 - Drive car into opening.

Mergee:
1 - Allow space for merger between you and the car in front of you.
2 - Watch merger perform said merge and follow behind them.

Say it with me, "And-a-one-and-a-two".

Instead, what we have is:
1 - A group of people who either think the merge begins when there's no more room for them to drive in that little lane that just keeps getting smaller -or- a group of people who believe that if they can just get ahead of those 3 cars next to them it proves their personally superiority over "those people". Hey, its their world, we just want to suck a little air in it.

(who then become)

2 - A group of budding rageaholics bent on getting "theirs" and determined to put a stop to this whole merging nonsense. "Yer not getting in front of me buddy! Nuh uh!"

All this silliness turns every major on ramp and any location where a lane ends into a wild blending of hundreds of thousands of drivers flipping from one side to the other on the "self importance" coin. All the while anyone willing to play nice simply tallies up the extra hours of their life each year spent rubbing their foreheads and hopping from the latest fad in stress reduction to the next.

Here's our favorite merges.

Eastbound SR16 merging to I-5. Yes, big construction here and for goodness sake we need to watch out for these workers. All the same, we spend an extra 5 minutes here every day because of the lack of merge skills. 5 minutes, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year, dividing by 60 = a little over 20 hours a year spent merging here.

Northbound I-5 to Madison. This is a drain spout of cars getting on and off the freeway. Another 10 minutes here until we rubbed the sleep out of our eyes and starting taking the Seneca exit instead of working our way across traffic to exit at Madison on the right.

Southbound i-5 in Fife. Crap-o-la! This daily mess is the Rocket Scientists College Final of sanity tests. You've got one lane ending on the right out of Federal Way compounded by a large sweeping corner in Fife. 10-30 minutes spent here daily watching life ebb away.

Northbound I-5 to Westbound SR16. "Thump, thump, thump". That my friends is the sound of me beating my head on my desk at the thought of this merge. What can I say, 2 lanes from the surface streets joining into I-5 and turning into exit lanes for SR16. Shoot me, shoot me now.

Whew, OK. So, moral to the story for us: Around 145 hours yearly spent in delays caused by people who can't count to 2.

Don't drive angry! Drive weird!

Oh I Wanna Go Home!

Good morning! Got my morning oatmeal and I'm ready to type! As promised, completing our tale of woe, here's what our trip home looks like.

3:00 PM - I run out of my workplace screaming with my hair on fire or dry washing my hands and making noises that would make you think I've suddenly joined an obscure sect of Pole Sitters.

3:06 PM - I hop the bus from the Overlake Transit Center to the Renton Transit Center.

3:45 PM - The Renton Transit Center (RTC), 'tis a lovely place.

A word on communication and commuting. This leg of the trip home is new. I was doing a double bus ride to Seatac but we discovered we could shave a full 45 minutes off the trip if Tammy met me at the RTC. On the first day that we tried this, we coordinated my arrival via Accutracking and telephone calls. Both of us assumed we had this new system down. I assumed Tammy would know that I should arrive about the same time and see my Accutracking alert, she assumed that I would call to give her a heads up that I was pulling in. We were both wrong. This resulted in me standing at the RTC for 20 minutes while she sat 100 yards around the corner.
Ok, enough of that, back to the story. When we last met Wes was reuniting with his bride at the RTC (queue dramatic music) ... and action!

3:50 PM - We depart and head south, Tukwilla, Federal Way, Tacoma, The Narrows Bridge (toll is only one way, so big smiles here), Gig Harbor, wait hold on, where's The Muffin!?!? Glad you asked.

Typically, Misty only rides with us in the Morning. Due to timing issues, and I have to say it, a pretty good transit system, she takes the bus from Seattle to Gig Harbor. It takes her about 2 hours to get there, but with two buses she's plopped right in front of her house. One exception to this is Wednesdays. Wednesdays is dinner at the in laws. Bob and Emma (Tammy and Misty's parental units) make a family meal with southern flare and we meet Misty in Gig Harbor so she can ride down to the farm for grub.

5:30-6:00 PM - We arrive back in sleepy Lakebay with just enough time to eat, inhale, and be in bed by 9. So, in a nutshell that's our commute. 4-6 hours a day on the road.

At the end of yesterday I mentioned that one of us gets a reprieve and it's me! For the past several years I've telecommuted all but 1 day a week. Recently because the yet another gust of wind has blown through my employers hallway, I've had to be in the office 3 days a week. So I'm only riding this beast 3 days a week. Tammy on the other hand, has been doing this commute 5 days a week for 10 years.

Last but not least why winter is eternal night for an extreme Puget Sound commuter. 5:00 AM to 6:00 PM, yup, nothing but the view below.

Don't drive angry! Drive weird!

The Grind

What's just so extreme about this commute you say? Well, I figured that would make a good next entry. So here we go.

In summary we live in Lakebay Washington. Here's a map to get a sense of where that is.


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Why we live this far away from civilization will make for wonderfully absurd reading at another time. Our commute involves three intrepid and slightly daffy travelers, me, my wife Tammy and her sister Misty aka "The Muffin". Tammy's destination is Seatac Airport.


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The Muffin works downtown Seattle


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Lastly fine reader, I work in Redmond.


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A typical commute day looks like this.

5:30 AM - Tammy awake, Wii Fit

5:00 AM - Wes awake, coffee, shower, gather mass of electronic devices.

5:40 AM - Depart, Wes behind the wheel and with a quick stop by the in-laws to drop off Pepper, the small hairy red carpet cleaner and then on to Gig Harbor to get Misty.

6:10 AM - Standing by in "The Harbor" waiting to retrieve The Muffin.

From here we cross the Tacoma Narrows bridge, cha-ching, bridge toll. Through Tacoma, Fife, Federal Way, Tukwilla, and into Seattle.

7:15 AM - We pull up infront of Misty's place oh bidness, Misty deploys completing leg one. Tammy and I switch positions.

7:20 AM - Tammy slows to under 20 MPH to boot me out the door at 4th and James. I roll extremely well and pivot up to my feet at my bus stop.

Our path splits at this point. I hop the 545 bus for Redmond and Tammy continues back south to Seatac.

7:30 AM - Tammy arrives at Seatac and takes up position of master of all she surveys.

8:10 AM - I arrive at the sweat shop in Redmond. In a straight drive it's 69 miles from Lakebay to Redmond. With the stops and turns we have to make its something more like 90 miles one way before the day is done.

As you can see, we spend a fair time on the road. The schedule above is assuming there is no traffic problems, no one woke up late, and I didn't have to stop to reduce my rage.

So, this is what we call extreme commuting. We may petition to have it turned into an X-Games event.

Tomorrow, the return trip, one of us gets a reprieve, and why our commute in the winter translates to eternal night!

Welcome to the Plague!

So, on the way to work today Tammy, my wife, mentioned that yesterday she had to battle a Plague of Buses to get to Seattle. My brain immediately locked on to that catchy phrase and I said "Hey! You could do a blog about your commute and call it 'A Plague of Buses'". I bet you can see where this is going huh? She replied with "I'm not really prolific enough to be writing that kind of thing."

My first thought was wow, prolific, that's a pretty busy word to be throwing out at 6:00 AM. I sat quietly for a moment and then I noticed a VW bug in front of us with the license plate EEKABUG. I grabbed my foot and began to pull it to my mouth as I said "See, you could post things like how funny the plate on that bug is".

Now, keep in mind, my wife and I have matching Hyundai Elantras. They are terrific economical cars. I however am, to put it politely, stretching the description of "pear shaped". There are parts of me I haven't seen since I was in my 20's. So, getting my foot to my mouth while driving takes some work! I seldom miss a chance to say something foolish (or disturbing) for some reason so I pulled hard on my pant leg.

After 2 or 3 more traffic observations my wife, of course , says "You are the one who ought to write the blog!" So, here we are. We'll vent about spending 4 to 6 hours a day crammed into cars, buses and trains trying to keep from giving our house back to the bank and pawning Tammy's M&M collection for cheeseburgers.