It’s all about U

The drizzle was, well dismal. I'm not sure if that qualifies as a rhyme or not. Anyway, the trip in this morning was grey, dreary… Oh sorry, winked out for a moment.

I'm a quad tall 120 degree non fat latte guy. That gets my day started off with a bang. It makes 5 am much more tolerable. I do my best not to get behind the wheel without my coffee. It's understandably difficult to gather statistics about the dangers of driving while drowsy. There isn't a breath test for sleepiness and you aren't likely to still be all that drowsy when you are propped up against the guard rail, steering wheel imprint on your chest and glass in your head. Dizzy maybe, but drowsy no.

With that in mind, here's my assertion, reading probably isn't the best choice of things to do while operating your motor vehicle in a commute. Why is it then that the DOT thought it would be a good idea to put reader boards up along the freeway? I understand that these boards have great potential to provide vital information to motorists but I'm wondering if this delivery method is really the answer.

My skepticism comes from having this experience repeatedly. I'm sitting in a 2 mile, 30 minute delay on I-5. It's been a long day at work and I've worn a whole in my scalp scratching my head puzzling over corporate decision making skills. I'm watching my gas mileage shrink to near zero as I spot the reader board sign up ahead. I think to myself, "Ah, an accident, gee, I hope everyone is ok." As the text of the sign comes into focus, my rear end clinches tight enough to permanently fuse the cloth covering of the driver's seat to my big man jeans. "TEST TEST TEST ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ!@#$%^&*()" is repeated over and over on the sign. 20 feet after we clear the sign, we are back to 60 MPH.

Yup, I'd put billboards, particularly the giant football stadium scoreboard versions, right up there. The Emerald Queen Casino did a fine job of placing their latest incarnation of this device right in the view of southbound I-5 traffic. Hey, who would be bothered by a few fender benders when compared to receiving the scintillating news that The Emerald Queen has the finest Thai entertainment in town! (No kidding, racial profiling is all the rage when advertising to potential gambling addicts).

While we are there, let's talk about people waving signs on overpasses. People, nothing is going to annoy your target audience more than causing a traffic jam and catching them in it. Allow me to pick on Casey Treat and his Christian Faith Center following. Folks, read your Bible and have a look at the definition of Agape. When I think "love in action" causing a traffic jam, or worse a car accident, isn't the image that comes to mind. I'm excited to meet Jesus too, but somehow I don't think dying in a ditch fully engulfed in an 87 octane blaze is the method he has in mind. Please, stick to Sunday morning TV and stay off the overpasses. Really, please, I'm begging you.

Whew, I feel better. I think I'll get another coffee.

This morning the reader board over SR-16 had a single letter on it, "U". See, it is all about me! Hah, I told you so!

Don't drive angry! Drive weird!

PS –Shorter today, just because Surendra complained.